Josie

Two years ago, we matched volunteer Josie with an older lady who lives nearby and who shares similar interests. Their friendship has grown over crosswords, manicures and good conversation.

Have you learnt anything from your Link friend?

I have learned patience and understanding and how to direct her attention away from things that are upsetting or obsessing her and move onto happier subjects and activities.

I find visiting a person with dementia really helps me to live in the moment. This is something that has carried over into the rest of my life.

Share a memorable story

My Link friend tells me about her big sister, who was incredibly beautiful and was always impeccably dressed and made-up.  She would stand in front of the fireplace to put her make-up on before a big date and their brothers would always moan that she was blocking all the heat from the fireplace.

She told me that this sister was very popular with all the American G.I.s and was always out on dates with them.  In the end, however, she married a “plain English boy”.

Have you seen any changes in your Link Friend since you have been visiting them?

Yes. When I started visiting her, almost two years ago, she was in her own home and managing fairly well. Now she is in a care home, and her memory is worse than it was before.  However, there is a point in dementia when the person becomes more content because many of their memories of home have left them. This is sad in a way, but she seems happier and is no longer desperate to get back home.  I really enjoy visiting her in the care home as there are other people there and we always chat amongst a group. She seems to have made some good friends and it’s almost like I am going to visit the group, not just her.  If I do her nails, I always end up doing her friends’ nails too.